In Memory of
Gary Richard Benacchio
June 2, 1950
- March 6, 2021
Obituary
Gary Richard
Benacchio passed away on March 6, 2021, at the age
of 70.
Before joining his
family in heaven, he was in the company of his family
here on earth, surrounded by their love and faithful
prayer. The story of Gary, however, is not about how he
passed. His life story – as anyone who knew him would
agree – is one of family, neighborhood, and heart.
Gary was born June 2,
1950, the youngest son of Enrico Benacchio and Marie
Alamia Benacchio. It is from them that Gary learned the
central value of family. Rico and Marie would always
remind him that no matter how much the family grew, the
core of Gary, his brother Bob, and his sister Sandra
must stay strong and always be there for each other. And
that is how it was. Whether in joy or struggle and
however long the journey, Gary, Bob, and Sandra remained
together.
Over the past
difficult weeks, Gary's children, Vincent and Karen,
showed just how strongly the value of family lives in
them. They are the best parts of their Dad, their Nonee,
and their Poppy. They are Gary's pride and joy; you
heard it in the way he always greeted Vinnie as "my
son," and Karen as "my daughter." You saw it when he
left after a holiday or family gathering, saying goodbye
with those same words and his trademark hug that was a
little tighter and lasted a few seconds longer than you
expected. It was his sign of a love for his family that
was at times imperfect, but always present and
unwavering.
It should come as no
surprise that Gary's granddaughters, Sofia, Hannah, and
Lucia are the apples of his eye, and how much they
unconditionally loved their "Pop." The first things you
noticed in Pop's apartment were not furniture or
clothing; they were the pictures he had of him and his
granddaughters – prominently displayed and carefully
kept. You knew that they are what made Pop's eyes the
brightest and Pop's heart the warmest.
Gary, Bob and Sandra
grew up on Sullivan Street in Greenwich Village, or as
he called it, "the Neighborhood." Whether you knew Gary
for five minutes or five years, his favorite stories
were those about the Neighborhood, and you weren't
likely to leave his company without hearing one of those
stories and a few lessons you could take from his life
in the Neighborhood. Five people living in a Sullivan
Street walk-up didn't make for much personal space; Gary
and Bob slept in the same bed most nights as kids. But
random conversations about meaningless things that were
so important back then might never have happened in a
house where things were "mine" rather than "ours." Gary
learned in those years to be his brother's closest
friend and his sister's fiercest protector (even though
Sandra did a lot of the protecting).
Gary was a graduate
of LaSalle Academy and earned an undergraduate degree in
Psychology from Stony Brook University. He will be the
first to tell you, however, that his education didn't
come from the books he read at those institutions, but
from the friends, he made there. One of the things
nearest Gary's chair was a reunion photo of him and his
LaSalle brothers – another family of which he was a
proud member.
Gary had a talent for
creating families and Neighborhoods wherever he went. In
1960, the family bought a house in Sound Beach where
they would gather most weekends to spend time together
and "work on the house," which generally involved a
short time spent on a construction project and a far
longer time spent talking in the yard and playing with
Gary's Dalmatian, Blaze – a faithful friend like no
other. The Sound Beach house stayed in the family for a
generation, hosting a growing family of Gary's nieces
and nephews, close friends like his neighbors Gloria and
Louie and Gary' closest friend Richard, and – especially
on July 4th – the Sound Beach community, who would
gather for a pig roast in the yard during the day and a
"homemade" firework show at the beach at night.
The work Gary loved
most was with the Port of New York Authority at the
World Trade Center as an Operations Group Supervisor.
Gary became part of the family at Mother PONYA quickly;
they knew him as a man of character who was quite a
character. A conversation or meeting with "Benotch" was
full of "Garyisms," and ended with "Capishe?" followed
by "Okay, gotta go." At no time were you ever unsure
where you stood.
Gary made more things
happen at and brought more things in and out of the
World Trade Center than one could imagine. His team was
part of things as absurd as getting a llama to the
Observation Deck, and as deeply meaningful as the annual
Toys for Tots drive in the lobby that brought a little
light to kids who needed it. Though he was no longer on
the Operations team on 9/11, he was at the buildings
that day and survived the attack. He spent years after
comforting the families of those who were not so lucky.
His collection of awards and "souvenirs" from the Towers
were never far from his sight, and his PONYA family
never far from his heart.
Gary brought the
Neighborhood on an overseas tour to the Benacchio family
in Italy multiple times over the last ten years. The
Benacchio family originated in San Nazario, and Gary was
a fixture at the "Benacchio nel Monde" gatherings there,
going once with Bob and Sandra. He loved every minute he
spent in Italy and was welcomed by family from across
the globe. Not surprisingly, they all looked forward to
his visits and stories about the Neighborhood and family
in America. Gary will be a lasting connection to our
family in Italy.
No story of Gary's
life would be complete without sharing his time in
Hagaman, NY. One of his friends posted about how much he
had "added to our little village" in the time he lived
there. Gary brought love of family and the Neighborhood
there as well: to his friends and CP's and Stewart's, to
those who opened their families and homes to him, and to
those he was all too happy to chat with, comfort, tutor,
and simply share an evening and story or two from the
Neighborhood with. It is comforting that Gary's life
began in a Village known for family and values and that
his last days were spent in Hagaman – a village where he
found that same sense of family and values.
Gary passed due to heart failure, but those who knew him
know he was a man whose heart never failed. One of a few
who remembered Latin, the phrase "vita mutator, non
tollitur," ("Life is changed, not ended"), would have
special meaning for Gary now. His journey here complete,
he is welcomed with love to a new life with those who
gave him life. Enjoy telling the angels about the
Neighborhood. And please don't ask God if He "Capishes"
– He does. Gary was loved in so many places, and we will
love him always.
Visitation for Gary
will be at Perazzo Funeral Home on Thursday, 3/11/21.
Please click the link to sign up for a time slot as
there is limited seating due to covid at the wake.
https://www.signupgenius.com/go/805084CAFAE23A2F49-wake
Visitation:
Thursday, March 11
1:00 PM to 3:00 PM
4:00 PM to 6:00 PM
7:00 PM to 9:00 PM
Greenwich Village Funeral Home
199 Bleecker Street
New York , NY 10012
Funeral Mass:
Friday, March 12
10:00 AM
Our Lady of Pompeii in Greenwich Village
25 Carmine Street
New York , NY 10012
Interment:
Friday, March 12
Calvary Cemetery
49-02 Laurel Hill Blvd.
Woodside , NY 11377